BEFORE					AFTER

temperamental				constant futile anger
golf					taxidermy
ignored by children			shunned by children
credit cards				cash only
overweight				average body mass
luggage					shipping
olive oil				mayonnaise

	In the most profound religious ecstasy I've ever experienced, I
was... I THINK I was visited by an angel. We exchanged greetings and
farewells, then the luminous figure in my meditation room vanished. As I
pulled myself up to keep overturned candles from setting fire to the wall
hangings, I felt very loose in the joints. Missing connective tissue? I've
come to think so.

magazines				the web
Kierkegaard				Wittgenstein
sugar-coated pills			injections (when needed)
dry cleaning				alterations
jewelry					hats

	I must have had more words with the angel than just what I remem-
ber. How many minutes did I lose? Did I offend it somehow? My initial symp-
toms seemed like the flu, but it didn't go away with high doses of potass-
ium (fresh bananas) and niacin (enriched kale). Over time things only got
worse.

record player				ham radio
mirror					magnifying glass
doorbell				dumb-waiter
sponge					Windex

	Respite from the physical aspects of my catharsis came around the
time I started behaving differently. I thought staying the course, in terms
of my actions, might prevent a relapse--not that I felt much control over
the change in my mannerisms. No such luck, anyway.

dictionaries				Bartlett's Familiar
riding in back on buses			bicycle without reflectors
pornographic "highlight reels"		personal irresistibility
gardening				pottery wheel
vegetables				legumes
horror					terror

	My feet take me somewhere new each day. However sick I feel, I ima-
gine I'll live long enough to see most of the world. I've noticed a lot of
pity in people's eyes. That's not an expression I use much myself, now.
	I suppose I could try the ceremony again.

written for Trent Stoppard in my kitchen 10/26/01

What a muddled mess, and from such a promising idea! At least it looks nice on the page. And, well... let me see if I can think of anything else nice to say about this story... the balance between explanation and obfuscation is good, I suppose.

- everything is by Aaron Mandel; please ask first if you're about to steal something -

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