O it is hard to be a Sasquatch
  O the television is too small almost to watch
  But if I go out they will hassle me, the men and women
  O I have a computer consultancy and take clients by phone
  But they underestimate me, o!
  O the kitchen is in disrepair, my hands too gross to mend it
  O it is orange, o!
  O the nights are long in winter
  But Mr. Belkin has retired and plays cribbage with me until dawn
  O Belkin is blind!
  O for Mr. Belkin and his special cards I am grateful.

  O the contracts are lean, and when they come they are hopeless
  The data is gone, erased and evermore gone
  O for them I have no recovery plan
  My hairy hands strike the screen in anger when Joni Mitchell sings
  O they will have more data, my clients
  O beautiful that data which has been recreated from scratch, o!
  O ugly my face, my feet
  O it is hard to be a Sasquatch.

  O the city will build wind turbines for sustainability
  Their lean monstrous forms will dwarf my house, o!
  Joni Mitchell is singing with Johnny Cash, an Irish song
  O I do not like him either
  O the paramedics came for Belkin
  O the pizza is never delivered
  O cooking is hard, and my worn saucepan an offense to chefs
  Belkin will be ship-shape in no time, or so I hear
  From the pizza deliveryman in fact
  He calls when he gets lost; always the same song and dance.

  O a mischievous spirit plagues me
  O the chair is splintered
  And the television reduced to three channels, o!
  O poor Jimi Hendrix
  And Kurt Cobain
  And the turbines may never be built
  O to attend a planning meeting
  O to drink fresh coffee
  O Belkin has won most of my money
  O orange kitchen and mischievous spirit, o poor Sasquatch!

  O they aired the clip of Joni and Johnny again
  Or else the pooka has done this to torment me, o!
  "The Long Black Veil", a sacrifice for love
  O until the disk recovery is complete I must not leave
  O that I scan for vagrant data and do not die for love!
  Kirsty MacColl might have done a better job
  O this very midnight I will play one of her records out on the beach
  No one will hear, o grateful! grateful this Sasquatch.
  No one will hear.

written for Bryan Jonker in the upstairs room 7/26/08

I think this speaks for itself, although I personally love Joni Mitchell.

- everything is by Aaron Mandel; please ask first if you're about to steal something -

<< back to more fast custom fiction<<