One more time okay I am smart and talented ffff can't even think it without
laughing. Not so bad. Like you better if you smile. Remember in what was
it Trainspotting, no, he didn't get the job. I at least have a chance. No
drugs. Hard worker. Don't mention the drugs obviously. Three years exper-
ience, miserable, glad it's good for something. Sounds better than it was.
Everyone does that. Han Solo probably lied but it got him the job. Get a
foot in.
    Walk feels long. Just lazy no the map said under two miles. All short-
er if we used metric. Uphill both ways. When he was my age I was two no
negative two wait married in '77, twenty years plus the, okay, two years
old. Imagine buying food for three on this. Pay more attention to budget.
Or get rich young and avoid the whole. Matt Damon in the cereal aisle or
does someone do it for them? Must be. Talent's not all. Lucky break ffff
you make your own luck. Trying to for crying out loud.
    Bus stop. Too risky though. Ten minutes might or might not. All had
coffee, though. Nearby, might speed me up ha no that was the problem in
Trainspotting. All twitching and. Maybe too friendly if you smile. Let a
frown be your umbrella works better that way. From something. Dad might
know. Brought his cell hunting maybe. Find you even out there. Unspoiled
ffff guess we dealt with that. I've never been to the tropics but I like
the bubble gum. Tropical fruit probably made up but we all believe it.
    Change my name and I could be anyone. Accents. Close enough. Like the
Beatles. They just wanted Elvis's hips or no what show was that? British I
would be named Jamie or something. Jamie McDonald. Firm handshake never
know the difference. Unless one of them is. Hot water. Which part of
London? A con is all in the details who said it maybe George Clooney. Matt
Damon in that too. Dad always telling him. More money in real life than he
stole in the movie I bet. Look more British with a fake nose. Do it for
the story not because it gets me the job. Playing with fire anyway.
    Here comes a bus. Guess that would have been faster or no, out of ser-
vice. Never wondered why they do that. Has to still be running if it.
    And the gum ah there it is. Never remember the back. Easier for pick-
pockets there. Love to see his face if that's all he got. His? Now girls
do it more I heard. Easier to get away I guess. Thirty cents and a pack of
Bubblicious she can have it. Ticket stub too.
    Supposed to rain more in England. Work that in if I. Happy to be here.
Americans smile more too or at least they say that. Another one of Dad's.
Smile in public and cry in private better than the opposite. Not so sure.
Never let them see you. Biggest con.
    Might as well wear a fake nose for all the good it'll. No job for how
long? Something out of nothing. Started small. Lucky break, like with
girls. How do you like them apples? Funny thing to say if you did see
Matt Damon buying groceries. No, gets it all the time.
    Building coming up. Deserve a treat after the interview. Kevin Smith
marathon at the Majestic. Matt Damon again jesus. Okay I am smart and...

written for Jamie McDonald in my living room 9/26/08

I didn't realize until afterward that "talented", "rain" and "private" were also from the titles of Matt Damon movies. I don't think there were any Matt Damon movies playing nearby that he might have come from, but maybe Jamie (indeed from England, IIRC college-aged) was a fan. Or he just knew how to take an idea and run with it.

I knew when I started that stream of consciousness was a bad idea, but I had to actually do the experiment to find out how bad. I'm sure there's plenty of mileage in James Joyce mimickry even all the way down here at my skill level; it just, I suspect, requires at least an eraser.

- everything is by Aaron Mandel; please ask first if you're about to steal something -

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